I THANK YOU FOR THAT

Dear Father,

Here am I, again needing You to talk to,

1925 - 2011

because You listen, and care, and 

I thank You for that.

Lord, we have talked, it would seem, 

many times about everything there was 

ever a need for. Sometimes You needed 

to talk to me, and other times I needed 

to talk to You. Often, in our conversations, 

I was redundant; frequently I was bold; 

seldom was I selfish. Always You were patient; without wavering You were attentive; never 

were You dismissing. I thank You for that.

Lord, I need to talk to You about something

we have never spoken of before... my 84th birthday. I've known You or about You for 

most of my life. You've known me since...

well, since before I was born. But there is no yesterday with You, and I don't know how 
many tomorrows I have, so we have only right now. 

And right now I want to tell You thank You 

for my life...thank You for my children's lives...

and their children's lives...and their children's lives.

Oh yes Lord, there have been tribulations.

As You have said, in You we have peace,

but in the world we will have tribulation.

But that we should be of good cheer because

You have overcome the world.

And I thank You for that.

And even so Lord, as Your servant Paul said...

“we glory in tribulations” because tribulations

work for our perfection. I must be approaching

perfection, thanks to You. But, I am also

approaching my 84th birthday, and I feel

like I have nothing left to do.

I am here in this home with others like myself.

I have made new friends, And I thank You for that.

But it seems a forced friendship, a communal 

relationship dictated more by proximity to one 

another rather than attraction.

I notice some are worse off than I,

(not that I have ever complained),

and I sometimes wish I could help them

but I know I can not. But You can,

and I thank You for that.

Some days I can't remember things that are certain

and vivid to those around me. Some days, when I do

remember things, I am angry at my idleness.

Some days I need to vent...when my children are here.

I know no one likes to see that ... especially You.

But I know too that everyone forgives me

...especially You, and I thank You for that.

Family time seems somewhat reduced here,

but when everyone gets together with each other

and our families, it is a very exciting time ... and fun!

It's a small town here; most everyone knows everyone else.

In some cases, there needs to be a re-acquaintance

because of years gone by. It's good to see "old" friends again.

Some aren't quite so old. Some were still just babies when

I knew them...now all grown up with children of their own,

who are themselves about to get married.

My, my, my... how did I get here?

84 years (almost) and I wonder, "what next"?

I guess we all wonder "what next" because,

if we were to think about it, "what next" is in the future.

And we all wonder about the future. Perhaps I should ask,

...what "now"? Never mind 84 years old.

I am now, 83 years, 7 months and 3 days "old".

(Sure feels like 84!) If I stop thinking about "what next"

and ask "what now," I see that the now ...the moment,

is taken care of. And I thank You for that.

What a long life. I've seen so much.

Some things I still don't understand.

Some things I wish I had not seen.

Take care of my family, as You have

all these years, and I'll see You tomorrow.

And I thank You for that.

~fb, July, 2010